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How to Leave a Church the WRONG Way

DISCLAIMER: I have NOT written this post with any individual or incident in mind; it is a general observation only!

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I've been attending church since 9 months before I was born. I've seen church attenders come and go. I've seen church splits. I've witnessed people leaving with grace and I've witnessed people leaving with their panties in a wad.

Here's how to leave a church the WRONG way:

• Make a scene - be sure to damage your witness, the church's witness, and the pastor's witness with everyone within earshot. OR - 
• Don't tell the pastor your leaving. Just quietly quit coming.
• Talk about the pastor - pretend to be his friend, then stab him in the back with everyone you meet for the next couple of years.
• Take as many people as you can with you - whether they were involved or not, make sure they never set foot in church again, ANYWHERE.
• Financially cripple the church - make sure they know you were a giver and you're taking it all away.
• Keep friends with the newer members of the church - and try to drive a wedge between them and the pastor.
• Call the pastor all kinds of names - "sticks and stones" is only a nursery rhyme anyway.
• Hold a grudge -  eventually, the taste of bile in your mouth won't taste as bitter; at least that's the story going around.
• Make snarky remarks to and about the pastor's family - that's the best way to get back at the preacher.
• Blame everyone else, especially the pastor - he's an easy target anyway and, after all, dodging personal responsibility IS the American Way!
• Be the victim - your behavior had absolutely NOTHING to do with the problem.
• Take your problem with you to the next church - after all, running away solves everything, doesn't it?
• Call the pastor and tell him off - he doesn't have anything better to do than to listen to your rant, and he probably had it coming.
• Completely ignore the pastor and his family - especially if you see them in a restaurant or Walmart.
• Exaggerate and embellish your story to others - be sure to leave out the parts about how you said or did this or that; that might make YOU look bad.
• Don't pray about leaving - just do it on impulse.
• Stop going to church completely - never again enter a church building; that'll show 'em!

I, personally, have left 13 churches in the past nearly 50 years. Only one of them was over a disagreement (theological in nature), and that's when I changed denominations to become Southern Baptist. (during college) The rest were because I moved away.  Even when I didn't like the pastor or when I had disagreements with other members, I never once considered leaving.

I have not experienced each of the above scenarios, but I have been on the receiving end of several.

From a pastor's point of view, it isn't fun. Not fun at all.

Pastors take a hard rap for everything that goes wrong in the church. Quite frankly, it's like trying to herd cats. With a few bobcats thrown in for excitement.

Believe it or not, but pastors are NOT perfect. I know a few of them THINK they are, but they aren't. Most of us are WELL acquainted with the fact that we are indeed fallible. We make bad decisions. We make decisions on what we believe to be God's will for the church as a whole.  We make people mad by not giving into their silly whims or even sillier arguments.  We make people mad by not kowtowing to their every beck and call.  And God FORBID that you don't go visit someone in the hospital or miss greeting them at church!

Undoubtedly, this post will upset some people. Some people will immediately think I've written it about them.  Well, I haven't..

Part of the problem with people getting mad and leaving a church has to do with the fact that they've lost their focus. They start believing church is for them and about them, instead of having anything to do with serving God and serving others.

There is, indeed, a time to leave a church. I certainly understand this. There is a proper way to leave a church, too. Don't burn bridges! You never know when you just might need your church family, especially if you haven't found a new church to attend.

Can you add any more wrong ways to leave a church?

Romney vs Obama

I heard on CBS this morning, that "1/3 of voters don't know who Mitt Romney really is, and that could hurt him."

I thought about that for a while then made the observation: "100% of voters have no idea who Barak Obama really is, and that has ALREADY hurt US!"

The Golden Driller

Lost truck, house and 2 barns

Near catastrophe

The family that brought us the cookies

MasterLock

Break's over!

Break!

TIMBER!

Lunchtime!

Cutting trees

Sunrise over FBC Mannford

At your service

It's Down

Cutting down a burned out oak tree

My spot for the week

4 Old Guys leading the morning song

Burned out Harley and sidecar

Sifting through the ashes

D.R. Breakfast

Mannford Command Center at FBC

A melted boat

What's left

Ash protection

Working on a burned out mobile home

Sifting through the ash

Feeding the volunteers

Yummmm!

Back to school swim party

Who Is this Man who Calls Himself Obama?

And why is he still in the White House?

• Barack Hussein Obama

• Barry Soetero

• Larry Sinclair

• SSN 042-68-4425

• Columbia University records

•  Forged Birth Certificate

•  Undisclosed passport

What's REALLY going on here?

Even if you are an Obama fan, surely you have to ask yourself why there haven't been satisfactory disclosure of some of these questions.

Why does the mainstream media ignore these questions and call everyone who asks them disparaging names, discrediting them in the process?

Why does the nation allow this man to continue to live in the White House?

A Kind Gift of Groceries for Food Pantry

Donated Clothing for Creek Co Fire Victims

 

At least, what's been donated so far....

International Space Station

First Time This Has Happened

Oh brother!

Pulling Out the "Hate" Card (and the "Victim Mentality"

I think the "Hate Card" has become the new "Race Card." You know, conveniently declaring everything else someone says is "Hate Speech" because you disagree with them and can't come up with any other good answer.

I've had the "Hate Card" pulled out twice on me in the past 24 hours on Facebook.

Interestingly, it had to do with religion and politics.

People who run out of things to say and end up saying, "You're just so full of hate" have essentially given up. They've fallen into a "Victim Mentality" that they aren't able to argue so they'll just insult the person instead.

How very sad.

Just because I disagree with you doesn't mean I hate you!

Just the same, just because I lose an argument to you doesn't mean that I'm gonna hate you or say that you are full of hate speech or insult you!

I find it so interesting that simply standing up for God's word brings so much ire from people who say they follow Jesus.

Let's face it: abortion is anti-biblical, anti-God, and anti-Jesus; homosexuality is anti-biblical, anti-God, and anti-Jesus.

How can it be hate to declare what God says???

God loves us SO MUCH that He sent Jesus to deliver us from abortion, homosexuality, immorality, porn, gossip, murder, hatred, divorce, gluttony, addiction, promiscuity, gambling, drunkenness, grudges, (and a host of other sins).

Does God love the person who has an abortion, practices homosexuality, practices immorality, watches porn, engages in gossip, commits murder, harbors hatred, gets a divorce, etc?  Of course He does! He does not discriminate in His love for the sinner.

HOWEVER, He detests the sin! He abhors it. He cannot and will not tolerate it. In fact, He calls EVERY PERSON to repentance.

Ahhhh... repentance.  Therein lies the rub.

Everyone wants to be forgiven and go to Heaven, but no one wants to do what God wants you to do.

I remember when I was 10 or 12 years old and put my hand down on a sand bur. (It's a thorny bur with barbs that is painful going in and horrific coming out).   It was right in the palm of my hand and was very deep.  I cried out in pain and my mother came to my aide. She told me to show her the bur, but I didn't want to because I knew that she would want to pull it out.  I didn't want her to. She did anyway and it HURT!!!  I called her "mean."  If she hadn't done it, it would probably still be in my hand all these years later.

Was my mother mean? No. She did it out of love. Did I want her to do it? No. Am I glad she did?  Of course.

Now, it's obvious that I'm not your mother. And I don't want to be. You're most likely an adult, if you are reading this post. Or at least an adolescent.  You should have the skills to extrapolate the meaning of this post and use it in your own life.

It doesn't give me a feeling of superior morality to think "I'm right and you're wrong."  I'll be the very first one to admit I'm not even CLOSE to perfect.

Some have even called me "judgmental." I've mentioned that I'm like a speed limit sign. I don't make the laws or write the tickets; I just tell you what the speed limit is so that you DON'T get a ticket....

Truth should NOT BE the new "Hate Speech."

Happy 50th!

Congrats Lori!

Lori Hendricks being sworn in.